When a couple decides to divorce, it can be an emotionally charged and difficult time, especially for the children. Sometimes, one parent may engage in damaging and destructive behaviors to “win” the custody battle. This type of manipulation and intentional drive to create a wedge between the child and the other parent is known as parental alienation.
What Is Parental Alienation About?
Parental alienation can be emotional abuse, where a parent undermines the other parent’s relationship with their child. According to NCSC – The National Center for State Courts – the purpose of this strategy is to damage the child’s bond with the other parent and turn the child’s feelings against them.
Parental alienation can be done through various means, such as:
- Manipulating the child to believe negative ideas about the other parent
- Preventing the child from developing a relationship with the other parent
- Preventing the child from bringing certain items from the other parent’s house to the child’s residence
Warning Signs of Parental Alienation
Parental alienation can be difficult for parents to detect, but it is important to be aware of the warning signs and take action if necessary. Below are some red flags you need to be aware of:
- Your child may resist parenting time with you
- Your child may view your relationship and past experiences negatively and refuse to acknowledge positive memories
- Your child may repeat phrases or ideas beyond their maturity level or parrot the other parent’s views
- Your child may reject family and friends associated with you, including parents, siblings, friends, and children from new relationships
- Your child may believe that certain items or possessions can only be used in the other parent’s household
- Your child may blame you for causing pain and suffering to the other parent and view you as having ruined their life
- Your child may not respond to text messages, phone calls, and other forms of communication during the other parent’s parenting time
- Your child may not acknowledge you at events such as school performances or sports games when the other parent is present
- Your child may not give you things they have made in school if the other parent has said they should go to someone else
- You may be excluded from the important information regarding your child’s health, education, and overall well-being
- Your child may be aware of the specifics of your divorce litigation
I Suspect Parental Alienation: What Can I Do?
If you suspect your former partner is manipulating your child to have a negative view of you, it is important to take action. The first step is to seek legal guidance from a family lawyer who has experience in dealing with parental alienation cases. Additionally, you should gather evidence to support your case:
- Dates and times of attempts to spend time with your child
- Dates and times of attempts to contact your child
- Dates and times of attendance at your child’s activities and functions
- Copies of text messages, emails, and other forms of communication with your child and ex-partner
- Pictures of positive interactions with your child
- Any social media posts that suggest parental alienation
Conclusion
Parental alienation can devastate the children and their relationships with both parents. Parents need to be aware of the warning signs of parental alienation and intervene early. “Parents should be mindful of their actions and strive to maintain a healthy and positive relationship with their children, even during difficult times,” says Attorney Matthew Dolan of Dolan Divorce Lawyers.