Driven by nostalgia, sentiment, or sheer curiosity, you may want to reconnect with a former date. Before you start your search, you should set realistic expectations of the results.
If you manage to track him or her down, they may:
- Be happily surprised and willing to rebuild your friendship
- Be indifferent to your proposal
- Be married with children
- Get annoyed and demand that you leave them alone
Despite your best efforts, you may still be unable to find your past valentine. Don’t sob tears of disappointment, but focus on what you learned in the process.
How to Safely Track Down a Past Love
Before you set off, remember not to get too emotionally involved in the whole thing. Set a reasonable time limit and stop before you’ve become obsessed with the idea.
The line between tracking down and stalking a love from the past must never be crossed.
Ask mutual friends about them
If you keep in touch with mutual friends, you can ask them about your past love’s email and phone number.
Even if they have it, they may want to ask him or her first. If so, wait patiently for their decision and accept it with a cool head.
Visit family and relatives
If you know where a relative or a family member lives, you can pay them a visit and have a chat. Ask them to pass their best regards to them along with your business card.
Don’t be tempted to ask for contact information, as it would be awkward. That tip would work if you separated on friendly terms.
Get online
Before you do a people search on a specialized website, you should cast a somehow wider net.
Google Almighty can show your love’s social media profiles if you enter your past love’s name and last-known address or phone number.
Don’t pin much hope on Google, as it can’t look behind paywalls or circumvent privacy restrictions.
Remember that awkward moment when young Mark Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) was frantically clicking the “Friendship Request” button trying to reconnect with his ex-girlfriend Erica Albright (Rooney Mara) in David Fincher’s 2010 biographical drama The Social Network?
Well, ask yourself if you’d like to be in his shoes. If you keep in touch with mutual friends, you’ll probably find your past love on Facebook without a problem; just remember to request friendship only once.
Dating sites
If you broke up only recently, you could find your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend on one of the most popular dating sites or apps. You can try Tinder, Adult FriendFinder, or OkCupid.
While looking for him or her, you can find a new online date, which is a game-changer. A fresh start can be better than trying to rekindle old love.
If you believe that you two broke up by some tragic mistake, and if you are lucky enough to find their profile, you can drop a few funny lines and wait for their reaction.
People search sites
People search sites have specialized in providing criminal and court records, credit scores, addresses, phone numbers, and emails.
As a rule, one should run a background check on their date before the relationship starts, not after its end.
If you manage to track him or her down on such a site, focus on the spider-graph of connected individuals. You can track down long-lost mutual friends and ask them if he or she is still single.
The background check report may reveal that your past love lives in another state and is married with kids. If so, the safest thing is to abort the mission.
Look into the deep web
Because of their work, your past sweetheart may not maintain profiles on Facebook, LinkedIn, or Twitter.
However, they may still leave a tiny online trail you can track. Search online for people searching services that specialize in showing content behind paywalls.
Did you meet them in high school or college?
If you met your past love in high school or university, you could use specialized websites like Classmates.com to find some recent information about them. You can also call the alumni office and request access to the yearbook of your graduation.
When Is It Worth Tracking Down a Past Sweetheart?
To sum up, it’s worth trying to rekindle an old passion if your relationship ended due to external factors and you parted as good friends. In all other cases, your search may have a disappointing end.